Weirder and weirder...Trump's safe space for women

Trump as The Great Protector of Women, and other distortions of objective reality...

I love this photo. These are the Stepford Wives Trump will protect. The rest of you? Good luck.

I hardly know where to begin with this one, and yes, that’s my lede.

Women, Trump burbled, will “NO LONGER BE THINKING ABOUT ABORTION.”

“I WILL PROTECT WOMEN AT A LEVEL NEVER SEEN BEFORE. THEY WILL FINALLY BE HEALTHY, HOPEFUL, SAFE, AND SECURE. THEIR LIVES WILL BE HAPPY, BEAUTIFUL, AND GREAT AGAIN.”

Finally.

Oh, FWIW, the Democrats have nominated two women and one vice president in the past three presidential campaign cycles.

I know, I know. Details.

Incidentally, Trump’s current opponent is a woman named Kamala Harris, whose name, as a woman, he simply just can’t manage to pronounce correctly. “Kamabla”, “KamaLA,” and so on.

Trump was tres respectful to his main GOP opponent, another woman of color who, with all her flaws, was Governor of South Carolina and Trump’s own U.N. Ambassador. He made fun of her name, too. He called her “Nimrata,” and also said that, gee, why is her husband deployed, anyway? To get away from her? Just sayin’.

As for Vice President Kamala Harris, he calls her stupid, makes fun of her laugh, and says she has a low IQ.

There’s your baseline Trumpian Protection and Respect for Women ©.

Point by point, let’s start with his assertion that women “will no longer be thinking about abortion”.

They were, in fact, thinking about abortion because there’s a universe of people who wanted to repeal Roe v. Wade for 52 years, and finally got their wish because of Trump’s appointment of his three fellow travelers on the Supreme Court.

Trump really can’t get his story straight on abortion. When he was just another Manhattan real estate developer/social climber, he supported Hillary Clinton, and, in 1999, even said he was “very pro-choice”.

VERY.

Of course, he’s currently narrowed that down to pro-male choice. That’s 49 percent of the country right there. CNN has a fun timeline you can check out right here about Trump’s abortion dance routine.

“Throughout his lengthy career in the public eye and politics going back 25 years, Trump has found himself on every side of the contentious debate, at times shifting stances seemingly to match the politics of the voters he is trying win over.”

Mr. Chicks Rights, right there, folks. He digs the ladies, you know.

Speaking of digging the ladies and keeping them safe, I guess an adjudicated rapist like Trump would find himself in the middle of a fair debate about whether ramming into a woman in a dressing room is keeping her “SAFE”.

I’ll say, no. That’s not safe. At all.

Let’s look about the damages E. Jean Carroll was awarded on that SAFE space. Hmm.

$83.3 million. That’s a lot of safety Trump had to pay out.

Naturally, a guy who ran beauty pageants has women’s best interests at heart, right? After all, beauty pageants are all on the level, and Trump can even creep on the contestants, which he did constantly. Women love creepy older dudes hanging around the dressing room.

Hey, the younger the better, too. Ask his buddy Jeffrey Epstein.

Trump even said creepy, WEIRD and I MEAN WEIRD, stuff about his own daughter on the Howard Stern Show —he’d date her if he wasn’t her father. What kind of sick freak, in the words of my talented and beloved own daughter, does or says that? And he loves women so much, he even buried one he was married to on his golf course as a tax dodge.

Be SAFE under Trump, women.

OOOOOO! I forgot about HEALTHY!

Here’s what the Dobbs decision did: it allowed Texas, for example, to create chaos when women sought an abortion. The weird Texas Attorney General, Ken Paxton, decided that his state’s abortion laws should be set at pre-Civil War standards (you know! Like Dred Scott! 1857! When America Was Great!).

Trump even brags about the repeal of Roe; he says he’s “proudly responsible”, and not just on one occasion.

You know when you’d go to the gas station awhile back, and there was a little sticker on the pumps with Joe Biden pointing at the numbers and he’s saying, “I did this!”

Well, Trump did that. Don’t know if anyone can put Trump stickers like that on door handles at Planned Parenthood, but far be it from me to discourage anyone from doing that.

Trump also hates the Affordable Care Act, which was passed under President Barack Obama, and wants to repeal it for…drumroll…concepts for a plan!

Women really love not having health care; so SAFE, so HEALTHY! In my experience, most women I know don’t want concepts for a plan, they want concrete plans. No concepts.

Plans are safe. Concepts are not.

Let’s talk about HOPEFUL for a moment.

I wonder if women would be so hopeful under Trump under Project 2025.

“It’s going to be devastating for women in this country. We’re going to see tons of roll backs to the days before the Civil Rights Act. We’re going back to the days when women were portrayed as property, not having any rights at all,” Christian F. Nunes, the president of the National Organization for Women, noted in an interview on NewsNation.

The accompanying NewsNation article said that Project 2025 “would eliminate access to abortion pills, citing the largely dormant Comstock Act that prohibits the mailing of obscene materials and articles intended for “producing abortion.” Abortion pills accounted for 63% of abortions in the U.S. in 2023, according to the Guttmacher Institute, a reproductive rights nonprofit”.

“In doing this, it would pretty much eliminate access to reproductive care and abortion access to many people who can’t afford to travel, live in rural communities and don’t have access to OBGYNs”, Nunes also said.

My favorite Trump counter-argument on Project 2025 is that, hey, I don’t know this guy, and this is all just a bunch of guys doing that without my knowledge.

Uh huh. You know these people. They worked for you. Sen. JD Hamelbowmanvance wrote the foreword to one of their books, and, for good measure, the man who wrote Project 2025 killed his neighbor’s dog.

With a shovel.

THEY’RE KILLING THE PETS!

Oh. So much HOPEFULNESS. You’re going to be tired of the HOPEFULNESS, girls.

HOPEFUL?

Try being HOPEFUL when Putin is pulling Trump’s chain every fifteen minutes. Try being hopeful when the Trump Tariffs take effect, and everything you want to buy has a helpful, HOPEFUL functional consumer tax passed on by Trump’s corporate buddies. Try being HOPEFUL when our NATO alliance crumbles.

That will def cut into your HAPPY.

BEAUTIFUL? Your kids will go to imploding public schools, your ecosystems will be compromised because Trump thinks climate change is a hoax, and you will feel so BEAUTIFUL without those stressful free and fair elections are so over.

I suspect the Trumpian idea of BEAUTIFUL looks a lot like his creepy, weird third wife FLOTUS, Melanija Knavs, who simply radiates joy in her dismantling of the White House Rose Garden and her The Shining Blood-Red Christmas trees.

BEAUTIFUL.

GREAT?

See above.

The fact is, Trump didn’t give a damn about women until he saw his imploding polling numbers with women. Harris leads by 15 or so with them, and his sick Delta buddies all said, “Sir”, because he likes to refer to himself as “sir”, gotta do something about the babes, sir.

It’s all chess now, right? He’s just flailing now, throwing out whatever he needs to say to whatever is left of the undecided female voting audience.

And when this rapist liar loses to, yes, a woman of color, in 40 days, I have a few words for him:

It’ll be BEAUTFUL. It’ll HOPEFUL. It’ll be HAPPY. It’ll be SAFE.

It’ll be GREAT.