2013 Flashback: Obama calls Harris "by far our best-looking" Attorney General"

Rut roh. Here are two contemporaneous columns about this long-ago contretemps...

After Vice President Kamala Harris got the Democratic presidential nomination a few weeks back, I immediately flashed back to a now-forgottenish incident from 11 years ago involving her and then-President Barack Obama.

The contretemps centered around Obama’s observation that Harris was “our best- looking attorney general.”

Naturally, Obama was blasted for this remark. It’s not cool to make these kinds of observations now; it’s sexist and reductionist, like something Convicted Felon, Rapist and Pussy Grabber (his words, not mine) former President Donald Trump would say.

I then dug into my mulch pile to find a column about this incident, which I managed to do this morning, after avoiding the three boring things I have to do on my laptop.

Here they are, unedited. Any language is 2013 language, so caveats all around:

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Saturday, Apr. 6, 2013

Our very attractive president of the United States returned to D.C. the other day, where he attended a fundraiser. I know these political campaigns are expensive, but I am sure he had no idea how expensive.

While at one of the fundraisers, the very attractive president (right up there with JFK and Clinton) described the California Attorney General, Kamala Harris, as "by far, the best-looking" AG in America, while throwing in brilliant and all that other stuff guys say.

With all due respect, I randomly checked out some other state AG's (I'm throwing out the men here), and the president is not completely correct. Don't get me wrong about our AG. But he should consider the following other Attorneys General as well here.

Lisa Madigan, the attorney general of Illinois (his home state, and nice play on excluding her, Shakespeare), is certainly right up there.

Check out Florida AG Pam Bondi. She's awesome.

Martha Coakley, the AG in Massachusetts, is definitely attractive in a tough law enforcement sort of way.

Attorney General Lori Swanson of Minnesota is very, very attractive. Very. A true challenger to Kamala Harris.

Catherine Cortez Masto, the Nevada Attorney General, is also extremely attractive.

Pennsylvania's Attorney General, Kathleen Kane, is what the president might also describe as attractive. I would describe her as attractive in the extreme.

Oregon's Attorney General, Ellen Rosenblum, is also what I would call attractive. Also, a very nice person.

I have just listed all of the women currently holding the position of Attorney General in the United States. They are all attractive. Period. In fact, politicians in general tend to be attractive. There are very few people in politics who aren't attractive in one way or the other, intellectually or physically.

Now, the president went home to his very attractive non-Attorney General wife on Friday, and she is also an attorney as well.

My guess is the conversation went something like this:

"Hi, honey, I'm home!"

"Sit down."

"What?"

"SIT DOWN."

"Baby, I..."

"Don't 'Baby' me, Mr. Hope and Change. I hope you got a change of clothes, 'cause you aren't sleeping here tonight."

Maybe he can hang out at the Clinton's tomorrow night.

I hear they have a nice sofa guys can sleep on.

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Tuesday, Apr. 9, 2013

As the Kamala Harris crisis drags on into the second week, it was reported that President Obama called the best-looking attorney general to apologize. I can imagine how that went:

“Hey, General, it's Barack."

"Yeah. What."

"I know this was kind of awkward for you and everything, but I just wanted to apologize for what I said about you being the best-looking attorney general. I don't think that."

"You're digging yourself in even deeper. What are you saying? I'm NOT the best-looking attorney general?"

"Uh...look. I gotta go."

"Yeah. Do."

He might as well discussed how she actually looked in her jeans, to finish himself off. Maybe throw in a remark about that weird thing she does with her mouth when she eats, or perhaps ask her why her laugh is like that.

No right answers. In fact, more relationships end with bad questions than bad answers.

Frankly, I am not really surprised by this maladroitness on the president's part. By most measurements, the Obama inner circle isn't really very heavily represented by women; I sometimes wonder if a lot of the major decisions regarding the country are made while watching SportsCenter.

"Mr. President, this thing in North Korea is looking bad. This kid is nuts. The North Korean generals are..."

"WHOA! NICE AND ONE! SHOW THE REPLAY!"

"...pressing us geopolitically. And..."

"BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE!"

"More like a mobile missile launch, sir."

In contrast to former President Clinton, who, shall we say, had an appreciation for women in his administration, Obama is more like a junior high student around them. 

I suppose this is a good thing, in comparison to how the whole Clinton deal ultimately went down. Now that Secretary Clinton has moved on to her new job as the presumptive 45th president of the United States, this absence of any major women as advisers will soon be rectified on January 20, 2017, assuming current polling is correct.

I can hardly wait until her first visit to a fundraiser in California.

"Hey, I want to give a shout-out to the new AG! Hey, guy! Nice tie...you've been working out, right? You have NICE guns! You are by far the best-looking Attorney General."

I can hardly wait for that apology phone call. She's had practice taking them.

After all, she's been apologized to by the best.

**********************************

Back to Present Day…

Haha on the Hillary as president prediction.

Of course, Obama and Michelle Obama nominated Harris a few weeks ago, and they both did a fine job. I assume the First Lady said nothing to him about his observations. it being a national emergency to avoid fascism moment.

Trump, the delusional bag of flaming caca, said he was much more attractive than Harris a few days ago.

Buddy, lay off the speed. It distorts reality. You look like a Madame Tussaud wax mannequin that’s been melting for several months in the window.