Your Week in Cartoons, Annotated Through The BS...

...and it was the BSiest week this far.

Like most satirist types today, I am trying hard not to run out of ways to describe the abject stupidity currently being executed by the guy who was elected president a few months ago. I told a friend I was basically doing illustration at this point, rather than actual exaggeration. Furthermore, I told same friend that I was missing one major topic after another because of the news zone-flooding strategy of the Trump Administration.

I have the energy to do 7-8 cartoons a week, in addition to doing my writing for you and the San Francisco Chronicle. After that, they would be in Flair Pen © on cocktail napkins, but maybe that’s OK at this point.

Anyway, let’s look at what I did manage to cobble together this week.

First, Smerconish.com’s offering:

Weird. I drew this on Monday morning and it seems like it’s 23 weeks ago. I don’t know if there’s a psychological or neurological term for this feeling—"hypertimecompressionism/extensionality?”—no, that’s not it. If any of you know, feel free to comment.

Some of you may wonder why I limit the comments to paid subscribers. Let me tell you why, and it’s probably not a huge surprise: I have doubled my subscribers in one month. Why?

Ann Telnaes, mostly. I went from a very respectable 3,000 to 6,400 in a flash. God knows what her Substack numbers are, but probably ten times mine. I get a lot of referrals from Mike deAdder in Canada, Jamie Schler in France, Gene Weingarten in DC, Bob Dunning in Davis, and a few others, but none like Ann’s. So what happens is when you get these referrals is that you don’t sometimes get people following you for benign reasons, or you’re just one of 198 other Substacks they follow for free.

I’m going somewhere with this.

One final point: I keep this Substack free because I know that I have a lot truly supportive fans who can’t swing a subscription, particular older folks on SSI. I ask my readers who do have a little loose change to pitch in to keep this going, as I suspect that they also have the same lightly altruistic impulses I do.

Anyway: here’s why I only allow paid subscribers to comment:

Do you recognize this little darling’s name?

She’s one of Trump’s truly goofy flying monkeys with a massively contrived curriculum vitae.

Imagine being so bad that Ka$h (he does that as well, which is pathetic in and of itself) Patel was confronted with posing for a photograph with Loomer at a book signing. I even drew her a few months ago, because even Trump’s inner circle thought she was…too much

Imagine someone being so bad that you’d draw them in a Nazi uniform…that’s Loomer. Now, I can tell you that Loomer’s free subscription means one of five things:

1. She’s a big fan.

2. She’s trolling me, as any self-respecting Trump flying monkey would do.

3. She has no idea who I am.

4. She’s part of larger, weird, right-wing media tracking project focusing on Substack.

5. I rule nothing out at this point.

Look, the second I saw her subscription, I knew she was up to no good.

I graciously unsubscribed her, and then blocked her. Period. I am not interested in her scrutiny, nor do I think she will upgrade to paid from free. Plus, what awards has she won in journalism, anyway? The Bullshitzer Prize? Also: I love how these little GOP Trump Prom Queens run for congress, lose, and then that’s like a big part of her biography. See also; Trump’s new press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, ran at age 23.

Lost. Now she’s 27.

But now she’s a former congressional candidate! WOW! How cool!

Excuse me, I have to go announce for Congress. Good branding.

I’ve only done this blocking thing only twice, and, wow, did they deserve it. I don’t have time to deal with trolls here, as it distracts from my job: creating quality content for you.

Anyway, Gaz-A-Lago!

I did it because of Trump’s long-stated view that he, and his giraffe nepo baby son-in-law Jared “Saudis Killing Journalists Is Fine” Kushner, thinks that Gaza is nice, developable piece of beachfront real estate.

Hmm! Perhaps the Trump Organization might be interested?

Next:

I did this for the Chronicle and American Journalism Hero Pete Wevurski, a former lieutenant in This Man’s Army, and my only friend who has ever led a color guard at FDR’s gravesite in Hyde Park. Astute observers may recognize a person or two from my life in the background.

“But how did you draw all that bile, Jack?”

“Well, I used that spray tool in Photoshop, which has become my favorite thing to do recently.” I also made sure that the rear stabilizer on AF1 was drawn correctly, because I know you’d notice that. Yes, it is 29000.

I think.

Anyway, we move on:

This was the illustration I did for my Chronicle column about DEI. I decided to just go ahead with it as a full editorial cartoon, and I was surprised to see the Chron also did that. I talk a lot with my editor Pete, but sometimes we get busy. Anyway, I sent this out as a Tribune cartoon.

I did this very quickly, mostly with a Flair Pen ©, except for Zuck Up, who is rendered in brush and ink, my preferred method of drawing. “Mighty white of me” is a phrase I actually heard as a child.

What’s weird about Zuckerberg is that I don’t think he’s an actual racist or sexist.

He’s just a simple whore.

Next?

Speaking of whores, here’s ya boy Hegseth, who also hates Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion so very much that he’s willing to destroy the ability of the military to recruit minorities.

Let’s review the numbers, shall we?

This is the military racial distribution in 2019:

You can see that Blacks, for starters, make up a disproportionate share of the military than their population in the United States. Blacks are 13.7 percent. Latinos? 19.5 percent.

You can see where I'm going with this.

So I just decided to draw SECDEF/DEUSVOLT shirtless, again, because he digs showing off his tats. I was originally going with another idea, then I got the I DON’T WANT YOU theme in my head, and so I ran with it. I am sure I will also have many more opportunities to draw Hegseth before he is fired and publicly humiliated in seven months.

Next?:

Here’s my best caricature effort of the week. I really looked at the photos, kids, on both Bobby and Caroline. Brutal, sure, and this drawing led to one of my erstwhile new free subscribers to inform me that this cartoon is “gross!”

See ya, buddy. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

I have always been attentive to ties and tie knots, suit styles, collar width, and other small but important sartorial distinctions. These elements are all part of a good caricature, and it drives my little OCD brain crazy when I see Fellow Cartoonists neglect these details.

Now I have to go wash my hands and check the locks (That’s for Joel Pett).

Next?

This one I banged out really quickly, because, you know, the spraying firehose of the Crazy Stuff Number 47 Sez.

Turned out pretty solid, no unnecessary bells and whistles, and fully gettable.

Again, I have a friend who once said to me, “Jack Ohman! The sh*t that comes out of your mouth!” I am more circumspect now, because I’m not 27. This guy? Oy.

Imagine blaming an air crash on, well, everything. He did that. This must have revolted even a few red hatters.

Wait. No. Probably not. They probably dug it, along with their master’s plan to destroy the U.S. Government. Hope no one in Alabama needs Medicaid. Or air traffic control.

Next:

This was an idea I had been honing for a few days. Sometimes I’ll get a theme and get to chew on it for awhile without actually having to draw it, knowing full well it will appear easily on the drawing pad. OK, maybe not easily, but…

I did like how this turned out. Composition was solid, color was simple, not too much text, and solid gags. American Journalism Hero Pete reminded me that Joe Rosenthal, the photographer who took the Iwo Jima photo for the Associated Press, then went to be a 35 year veteran of…the San Francisco Chronicle! He retired in 1981, and lived to be 95! Joe died in 2006. I once sat next to the great shooter Cornell Capa at a dinner once in 1996, and I wished I knew more about his work then to discuss it with him.

I’m friends with David Hume Kennerly, the great Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer and native of Oregon City, Oregon. These guys are amazing. Dave can take fantastic shots with his iPhone. Mine look like my dad’s 8 mm home movies from 1967.

Oh, wait. One more? OK:

This is running Monday or Tuesday in the Chron.

This is about Sam Altman and his let’s destroy America buddies getting pantsed by China, as their $500 million scam was going down at the White House under Mr. President Artificial Intelligence himself’s vacant gaze.

Altman looks a lot like a young Jack Kennedy (he’s 39) I also note here, for the first time, that I forgot to make his eyes blue. I’ll change that. Oops.

OK, you’re tired, I’m tired. Off to make something to eat, try to get over this cold, and otherwise try not to think about the massive scam going down.

*************************

Hey, folks of YB!: If you want to hip-check Laura Loomer, maybe kick in today. Just a gesture. If not, enjoy! Laura, so sorry to see you go. You subscribe to 299 other Substacks; read those. The NFL Spread Champ looks interesting.—J.