The Week in Cartoons, annotated for your dining pleasure

I think I set a volume record. How do we do it? VOLUME, VOLUME, VOLUME!

Let’s get right to it.

I had to get ahead to take some much-needed time off, so I did four drawings today (and a rough I’ll do later tonight or at 5:00 AM, prior to my flight). I also did—let me go count, one sec—six others, including two for Smerconish. That’s ten.

I don’t want to do ten cartoons per week. I’ll recount at the end of this column. Yes, I am fast. Yes, I am prolific. Yes, I have an upper respiratory infection. No, I am not AI.

But they want to replace me with AI.

That would suck.

Here’s the first cartoon for Smerconish. Of course, it’s taking forever to load up.

OK, here’s the cartoon. While bitterly complaining about violent rhetoric leading to his assassination attempts, he reverts to his usual M.O.: projection. I’d love to have some semi-competent psychiatrist get him on the couch (like Vance, heh) and analyze why, precisely, this kook accuses everyone of doing exactly what he does. I took college psychology and even I, a mere layman, can figure out what his diagnosis is out of the old DSM-V.

Oh, the Vance joke about carnal couch relations? I guess it’s OK to lie to prove a point, right? Although I think the Vance story is true. But no matter!

I’ll take narcissistic sociopath for starters. A recent book suggests that four percent of the population qualifies for this condition. I worked with one a decade or so back, and you simply cannot reason with these people. I’ve never felt more frustration with this headcase in my career than this guy. He once told me that Paul Krugman was an idiot, for example. I noted he won the Nobel Prize for Economics, and that they don’t give those to idiots.

I guess he felt that he deserved one as well. Trump reminds me of this moonfaced clown.

This cartoon was pretty simple, so I just did the second panel on the copier and inked it differently so it was a bit different. You probably wouldn’t notice it. Normally I don’t do this, but I’ve been pretty pressed for time this week. No matter. Point made.

Next:

Just so I didn’t use the copier twice in a day, I drew three separate Trumps, just to assure artistic integrity. I really wanted to get something off on the crazy Springfield Dog Cat Dining Experience, so I banged this out.

I’m not drawing Trump’s hair the same way these days, because this dope is arranging his har the way one would in a cotton candy machine. Wonder what he’d look like if he grew his hair normally and didn’t require physics, bobby pins, hairspray, flying buttresses, anchor bolts, Gorilla Glue, and swirling sugar?

Still getting there on Harris. Close enough for the moment, anyway.

Numero tres:

This was the third cartoon I did Monday. “Concepts of a plan” was still hanging out there—perhaps the dumbest phrase I’ve ever heard in a presidential debate. Imagine having the temerity (read: balls) to say that about health care in this country. People are dying every day because they don’t have access to the kind of care Trump has, but hey. Try this concept of a plan while he sells out to the health care monolith.

I love doing these types of cartoons. I can do some interesting drawings and fun concepts (of a plan for a cartoon idea), and they have a different look. I like doing multi-panel cartoons when I can, although The Journalism Industrial Complex tends not to like them.

It used to be that these would run in print, and, when I started cartooning in 1978, there was acres of pulp real estate to fill. Honestly, I prefer to do cartoons in color because it separates out the dilettantes from the professionals. Color is a crutch. It’s a fun crutch, but a nice black and white ink drawing is more artistically pleasing to me. They pop better. Sometimes I’ll do a mostly black and white drawing and slash some blue on it to preserve the Old School Element. I did one later in the week like this which you see in a moment.

Number 4:

This was a quick drawing, but effective. Trump’s asinine assertions about assassinations continued (Vance and Mrs. Melanija Knavs Trump, our former FLOTUS from the Czech Republic and Addams Family Stunt Lady also weighed in, tastelessly and incorrectly, on the cause of these attempts).

Older readers will note that I actually drew the Grassy Knoll somewhat accurately, the Birthplace of Krazy Konspiracy Theories (one gunman, Oswald, behind, above, repeating for those needing). The 45th Liar of the United States and Queens decided to fundraise off of his latest assassination try, which prompted an observer to note that Jerry Ford didn’t fundraise off of his two consecutive assassination attempts in 1975.

Jerry was a good guy.

Number 5:

The aforementioned mostly black and white drawing featured the Dreamforce/Salesforce conference in San Francisco this past week. I think 45,000 people showed up, and everyone was in shock because the streets were full like pre-pandemic days. All the hotels were jammed, and, of course, the hotels were more than happy to price gouge.

I put some people I know in here, but I won’t tell you who they are.

I worked off a photograph on this and drew it in about 45 minutes. That’s fast even for me, but I had a lot of ground to cover that day. Turned out pretty well, considering. As a fancy columnist and cartoonist for the San Francisco Chronicle, I try to draw local real estate whenever I can, so my people at Fifth and Mission think they’re getting something for their money.

Also please note that when drawing crowds, I am mindful that not everyone is a middle aged white guy. This was pointed out to me by a few colleagues at The Oregonian when I was in my twenties, and I am grateful for their guidance. I see a lot of lazy cartoons, and I try very hard not to be lazy.

Next? Number 6:

I had been carrying this around with me for a few days, and I needed to make sure that I had the time to execute it properly. I am proud of my caricatures, and work hard at getting good likenesses. Laura Loomer, the 31 year old former GOP congressional candidate and mental patient who hasn’t been institutionalized yet, is now traveling with her fellow rubber/oval room buddy Trump ( she helped prep him for his non-performance in the debate and travels with him. Gee. Huh. Where’s Mrs. Knavs/Trump?).

Oh, promoting her shitty little book of lies.

Did I say shitty? Sorry. I’m hangry.

You know when Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Bellevue) thinks that Loomer is nuts, well, my God.

She’s nuts.

Of course, Loomer is just the exposed id of the GOP now, and is on the threshold of a complete takeover.

The Arkansas Nepobaby Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders offered her opinion that Vice President Harris is deficient in her Stepford Wifely Handmaidens Tale Duty by not having her own kids. She is a devoted stepmother, and I do not wish to relitigate the Vance Childless Cat Lady Thing, but for God’s sake: is there no bottom with these people?

No. No, there is not.

When the GOP nominee says that his opponent is a CommunistMarxistFascist in one sentence, there are very few epithets left.

Next up, Number 7:

This is just a fun little illustration I did for my column in the Chronicle which will run Sunday online. The 49ers have lost every game in Minnesota since 1992, and did again, 23-17, last Sunday.

That’s a long time to go without bringing home The Lutefisk Trophy.

OK, there is no Lutefisk Trophy.

That was a lye.

(OOOOOOOOOO!!! GOOD ONE!!!—self-congratulation from a Minnesota on the lye pun).

I can’t explain it, overall, it was rather clear that since the 49ers backup QB is now the Vikings started, well, maybe he remembered some 49ers plays from practice.

Here’s 8:

Fun Bay Area contretemps about Oakland (OAK) airport’s assumption of San Francisco’s (SFO) name to advertise their location as bingo in the Bay Area, which it is.

They’re absolutely correct to be able to do this, of course.

San Francisco has decided that San Francisco © is a registered trademark, R, TM, and oh how very high the faux dudgeon is.

Particularly since SFO is actually located in…drumroll, the envelope please…

SAN MATEO COUNTY!

DINGDINGDING!

Next.

Number 9, Number 9, Number 9, Number 9:

It gave me a great deal of pleasure to draw this, because this heir to the Swanson TV Dinner Fortune That He Earned All By His Little Self is now Nazi-adjacent. Imagine. I knew he loved Viktor Orban, but now he’s simply enabling other white supremacists, and Trump’s Little Couch Romancer Sen. JD Hamelbowmanvance is happy to be interviewed by this crypto Nazi in a closed event. Herr Carlson is charging $1600 for the vance event. That’s a lot of duetchemarks.

Even some of his Weekly Standard buddies have disavowed Tuckwad. That’s bad.

So, yeah, I said it. Carlson is a, well, insert your Reichstag Analogy here.

Wait. There’s a number 10. The hell:

I saw a poll today oh boy, about 25 percent of independent voters want to “know more about Harris”.

Huh.

OK. Wikipedia, for starters, and if you need to know more about Harris (a smart, decent person) in order to make an independent judgment vis a vis Trump, well, I hope you don’t make the wrong call, because I don’t want to live in Tuckercarlsonland.

Sadly, I could have filled Trump’s chest with more, but you don’t want to overwhelm readers.

I can’t believe I still have one more drawing to do.

It’s about Lt. Gov. Mark Robinson of North Carolina, a self-described black Nazi.

I just. God. People. Please.

I hope this country survives these people. I am yet to be persuaded.

OK, my fingers are throbbing, kids.

Have a great weekend!

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I’ll be writing on vacay next week, so fear not. Anything you can chip in is deeply appreciated. I’m about to reach 2,000 subscribers thanks to you wonderful patriotic Americans. I want to keep doing this and moving to wanting to do it mostly full-time.

I can do that with help from Readers Like Like You ( it was Pledge Week on KQED this week, so I am absorbing their insidious tactics).

Not totebags, though.

I will be offering some premiums and incentives next week as well.

Remember: Heather Cox Richardson has a full-time job and is a multimillionaire. ;-)

I am not.

Bless you all!

Warmly/Cordially, Jack