Random thoughts, again, because there's so much material...

I am getting tired of my CNN alerts.

Let’s get right to it.

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LOYALTY OATHS FOR THREE AND FOUR STAR GENERALS

Oh, that’ll go over well at the Pentagon. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that “Trump Draft Executive Order Would Create Board To Purge Generals”

“Panel could upend military review processing raise concerns about politicization of the military”

That ain’t gonna fly with the fruit salad boys, trust me. The military has always been non-political, thanks be to God, Allah, Yahweh, Zeus, and everyone else. I assume this play is intended for a smoother roll-out of what will prove to be Shitshow Number One on the Mar-A-Lago runway, the mass deportation of eleven million undocumented workers.

In California alone, imagine if you said, hey Central Valley, you ain’t gonna be able to get those tomatoes and almonds in on time, or, really, at all. My guess is that these big ag guys ain’t Democrats, either, and you want some supermarket sticker shock? Wait until they and every other ag operation in the United States can’t make the harvest. Dave Valadao isn’t probably going to be able explain that one in his town halls.

Oh, and if the rabble get out of line, your 47th president is going to want to augment the National Guard if there’s “insurrection”, i.e. “peaceful demonstrations” guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution. All of the flowed from Trump’s goofy Bible photo op in 2020, when he made Gen. Mark Milley walk along with him.

First, Trump doesn’t know Deuteronomy from his Leviticus, or even his “Two Corinthinans”, and second, this guy doesn’t really get how the military really operates.

I was a U.S. Naval Reserve Officer candidate 22 years ago, and I can assure you they’re all about preserving their pensions and Tri-Care, in addition to national defense. Sec. Lloyd Austin, a former four star general himself, send out a little love note the other day to the armed services, where he correctly noted they have sworn an oath to the Constitution, not to a New York real estate developer. I doubt this will go very far, but I have made some flawed predictions in the recent past.

I note while I was writing this that Trump has nominated Pete Hegseth as Secretary of Defense. Well, he was in the Minnesota National Guard though, but, more importantly, he’s a FOX News talking head.

Fantastic.

Just what we need. I’m waiting for Tucker Carlson to be named press secretary.

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WHY DID HARRIS REALLY LOSE?

Well, sure, she’s Black, and Asian, and a woman, so that might have had a little to do with it, but I don’t think it was the makeweight. Hillary came close, and Obama won.

There was an interesting story in Politico the other day about where voters get their news. Basically, if you voted democratic, you follow the Legacy MSM. If you read crazy shit on the internet your drunk brother-in-law posted, you probably voted for Trump.

Here’s the Politico article.

There were so many forces at play here, but the Democratic messaging was great if you had a college degree and your portfolio was doing OK, but not so good if your sole concern was inflation.

If had been Harris, I might have leaned in on a Populist, Hey The Billionaires, Oh, Corporate Whoredom Caused Inflation, but it was a side argument. She wrongly assumed that, you know, preserving democracy would be enough of a thing. Nope. I read something where some Trump voter said, yeah, he’s Hitler, but inflation.

This is why we’re here.

Eggs.

Oh, heads up, Angry Egg Buyers, there was an avian flu epidemic and millions of chickens were euthanized. Did you cast your vote against avian flu?

Harris was always “effective” under the old model. She performed well in the one debate, she gave great rally, she brought in all the A-List Celebs (no, Scott Baio and Kid Rock aren’t A-List), and comported herself very well. She just hit a backed-up sewer of resentment that has wiped out most Western governments post-COVID. Not much she could do about that. She was the incumbent, as much as she tried not to be.

I keep thinking about the pressure Hubert Humphrey was under in the fall of 1968 to distance himself from the Lyndon Johnson Vietnam policy, and he finally did in an October speech in Salt Lake City.

“If I were president, I would stop the bombing as an acceptable risk for peace,” Humphrey said, and it gave him huge momentum against Richard Nixon in the final weeks. He came up short.

Harris said she couldn’t think of anything she would do differently than Biden.

She was not able to disengage from the Gaza situation, and that cost her 125,000 votes in Dearborn, Michigan. She was not able to really effectively articulate a different course on consumer prices. Of course, her opponent just flatly lied about everything, and could make crazy promises about Social Security, tip taxes, and anything else that flew out of his floating garbage-filled piehole. How could she compete against lies?

She couldn’t.

Combine his lies with the Russian Disinformatsya from our new ally Vladimir Putin, amplified by his nutcase compadre Elon Musk, and she was fighting with the Marquis of Queensbury Rules against an MMA fighter.

And here we are.

She won’t run again, either, although I do think she will take a hard look at running for California governor. But maybe she’ll just say, screw this, let Doug Emhoff practice law in Los Angeles and she’ll make some money.

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APPOINTMENT TELEVISION

Stephen Miller. What a surprise. The guy who is apparently cosplaying a Third Reich factotum or an extra in Hogan’s Heroes is now in charge of, well, probably everything bad these people want to do.

Mike Huckabee. Wow. Ambassador to Israel. Not sure where being Governor of a li’l state and yet another tv host would put you in play for that job. I mean, there are lots of places you could put him without further comment. I guess the White Christian Nationalists now have their guy in place to make sure that Bibi gets exactly what he wants (stay out of jail and firebomb children).

Marco Rubio. Well, our Little Marco swallowed the tiny fragments of his personal dignity and gave in to his 2016 tormentor. #sad. But at least he kind of knows what he’s doing, even of I disagree with him. I suspect Trump hired him to fire him and humiliate him again. Don’t worry. He’s already humiliated.

Susie Wiles. Well, she’s the daughter of Pat Summerall, the late CBS Sports announcer, for starters, which makes her appointment a sports trivia question. I do have to hand it to her, she did run an effective campaign, and seems to have her guy on a short leash. Is she a guardrail? Hmmm. Maybe-ish. Trump has gone through five White House Chiefs of Staff in four years, so I expect, at some point, this woman will find even herself fired because she won’t execute some kooky scheme. Plus this was a nice F-U to Gov. Ron DeSantis, and Trump has been looking to return the favor.

Pete Hegseth. It used to be that Defense secretaries came out of some massive corporation, or after a steady climb in the defense establishment. You’d get a senator once in awhile, but goddam, I am missing Donald Rumsfeld already, and that is just so very wrong. But, WOW. A FOX News blabber? Godgodgod. Thank him for his service, but that job is a lot of procurement crap, and I am not sure he’s up to speed on kissing ass at Electric Boat and General Dynamics.

Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy. Running a Department of Government Waste? Huh. There’s some government waste right there. Is it a cabinet department? Is it a committee in their head? God knows. My CNN alerts have been increasingly disturbing since I started this column an hour ago. Getting lightheaded.

Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.. This loon is vetting public health officials, huh? Last I checked, he had a law degree from the University of Virginia, a definitely-accredited school founded by Thomas Jefferson. Remember Thomas Jefferson? He was a founding father who would be wretching in the bushes at Monticello, if he were alive. Kennedy is demonstrably nuts, too, so it’s hard to say precisely what he brings to the table, except for his own personal expertise in dealing with brain worms, mental illness, and large animal body part collecting. Is that anatomy?

Kristi Noem. They’re shooting…they’re shooting the dogs. She’s gonna run Homeland Security, huh? Her main experience in that lane is making sure North Dakota doesn’t invade South Dakota. In addition, she has remade her look to resemble a blow-up doll version of Melania Trump. Oh, and she screwed Corey Lewandowksi. EWWWWW! She’ll be the public face of the Big Round-Up, and she’s going to require another make-over when that’s done.

I think you now see what Trump is doing: setting up a 2028 bench, and we’re not done yet. Only as country.

Oh, and Don, Jr. and Eric are handling all the vetting of these clowns. Great.

You know what bugs me, at 64? That I might die under these bastards.

I guess it would make it easier, if nothing else.

Kidding! Fight, fight, fight, in the words of a weirdo.

More bottom feeders T/C.

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TODAY’S PREDICTION!

I predict Trump and his family will walk out soon in uniforms. Of course, none of them could be bothered to serve, but hey. I can hardly wait to see their medals: The Distinguished Lying Cross, The Purple State Heart, and the Crypto Star. I see gold epaulets, a must-have for any dictator’s fam. Ask the Ceaucescus.

People, I can’t take it anymore. Really. I’ll write more tomorrow.

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Kids, I had a fun day speaking to the Harry Truman Democrats Club here in Sacramento. They were all very nice, and eager to keep engaged in the fight to Keep America Normal. There’s the 2028 slogan—Make America Normal Again. My talk started off a little apocalyptic. I loosened up after some questions, but it’s really difficult to be The Funny Guy in this environment. I asked them them to invite me back to try a little harder on the humor end.

Someone asked me what the future of American journalism was, and I responded that there are going to be lots of new online outlets that will be supported by their local markets, and there is also an explosion in independent journalism, and that’s me. OK, and a few others. If you can kick in a buck or two for the cause of independent opinion, I’d be much obliged. I cost $6.66 per month on the economy plan. If you can’t swing a Starbucks for me every month, we’ve all been there. In any event, I thank you for reading and for your patronage. Have a great evening. I’m watching NBA games I don’t care about and listening to Alternative 90s music. Loud.

—J.