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Robert K Vukovic's avatar

I left Vietnam in 1971 with many unresolved feelings, and unanswered questions. Twenty years later, in 1991, hoping to resolve some of my uncertainty about my war, I went to Honolulu for the commemoration of the 50th anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Thirteen years after that, in 1994, I went to Normandy for the 50th anniversary of D-Day.

WW2 Veterans from both sides of the conflict returned to their respective battlefields one more time, for many the last. This time they didn't meet as enemies motivated by hatred, and revenge, they came together as old men, to not only honor their fallen comrades, but to honor each other and the fallen from both sides.

There was a shared sense of empathy, sorrow, and an understanding of the enormity of the sacrifices made during those events, that only the participants could ever truly understand.

There was one more emotion that wasn't discussed but it was palpable, Survivor's guilt. The one question, thought but never uttered was: Why me, why am I here and not the people I came to remember and honor? I was relieved to know that I wasn't alone.

I recalled feeling a very similar group emotion back in 1982 when I showed up just before dawn to see the Vietnam Memorial in private, but as I sat on a bench several other Vietnam Vets showed up so none of us were alone.

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Janet Castaneda's avatar

My father, Robert H. Estes was a young Marine on the USS Maryland on Dec. 7th. His first cousin, Forest Estes died on the USS Arizona, the only son/child of my father's uncle. My father felt survivor guilt the rest of his life. So many sad and heroic stories. We can't forget.

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