Kennedy Self-Center...

Why does Trump do these things?

“Rudy and Donnie: What a Drag". Coming soon to the Kennedy Center.

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The news that President Trump has seized control of the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts was the first time he really surprised me since his dreadful, moronic inaugural address. Everything else has been kind of what I expected, honestly, because we all knew he would enact Project 2025 in his role as Dictator on Day One.

Looks like he’s pushing it past Day One.

Trump said on “Truth Social” (snort—oxymoron of the year) that Grenell “ shares my Vision for a GOLDEN AGE of American Arts and Culture.”

Listen, how are we going to have a GOLDEN AGE of American Arts and Culture is you don’t even know how to use capital letters properly?

Oh, and “NO MORE DRAG SHOWS OR OTHER ANTI-AMERICAN PROPAGANDA—ONLY THE BEST.”

Hmm. I am unaware of any drag shows at the Kennedy Center. Must have missed the emphasis on those. As for anti-American propaganda, Trump is doing a good job of creating anti-American propaganda all by himself. Good God, even the Canadians are booing us and the National Anthem at hockey games. Why shouldn’t they? Would you boo them during “O Canada” if their stated foreign policy intention was to turn the United States into the 14th Canadian province or territory?

Please God, make it so.

Let’s roll the tape back to the halcyon moment of the Kennedy Administration (people were qualified, tried to play it straight —mostly, except for the Vietnam thing— believed in science, etc.). While Kennedy himself was said to be rather middle-brow in his artistic taste (no problem there, I am not above that sort of thing myself), his wife Jackie was very much a supporter of and appreciator of the arts.

Kennedy invited the cellist Pablo Casals, the Jerome Robbins Ballet, the Metropolitan Opera Studio, the American Ballet Theater, and the American Shakespeare Festival, among other performers. He knew that while he may have been a little squirmy during the performances, it was also a great signal to send to the country that arts were important.

Now?

Trump’s idea of the arts is MMA. His Education Secretary is Linda McMahon, the WWF executive. He’s from reality tv. I am not cognizant of any artistic interest Trump has other than screwing strippers. That’s where we are.

Even Richard Nixon played the (expletive deleted) piano.

President Richard Nixon, a classically-trained pianist, accompanies singer Pearl Bailey at the White House.

Naturally, Trump’s widdle art feelings were hurt because he never went to the Kennedy Center, where his Atlantic City sensibilities might have been routinely offended. One thing we do know about Trump is that he’s acutely attuned to slights, particularly when they’re from people smarter than he is.

That’s most people, if you’re interested.

Having said that, if he doesn’t dig the fare at the Kennedy Center, just make polite suggestions instead of detonating it. Maybe even go to the opera or the symphony. It won’t kill you. Play ball, even. But that’s not how he rolls.

I wonder what his little buddy RFK Jr. said when he heard this one. As a mentally ill paranoid whack job, even Bobby and his trusty brainworm must have shuddered. Maybe Trump was trying to get back at Caroline and her son Jack Schlossberg for dissing him and Cousin Bobby. Who knows? But my guess even Baby Bobby was horrified. Naturally, he’ll say nothing as America’s new polio enabler.

I’ve never actually been to the Kennedy Center, myself, which is my mistake. I remember when it was constructed in 1971 when I lived in Northern Virginia, and should have checked it out. I’m not the fanciest person on the planet, but I do listen to classical music, jazz, and appreciate musicals and opera. A buddy of mine who’s a political cartoonist in Omaha, Jeff Koterba — a real sweetheart, incidentally, and the author of a terrific book on Tourette’s Syndrome—is also a classical music host in Nebraska, and I’m always making Elgar jokes with him.

I also know that the arts are a critical leavening force in any society, as did President Kennedy. I think he also could see that the explosive growth of television wasn’t helping. His own FCC Chairman, Newton Minow, called tv a “vast wasteland”. Kennedy and Minow could see that in a country where “The Flintstones” were prime time fare (true fact, ABC) , maybe it wouldn’t kill us to listen to classical music once in a while, or actually go to a play.

President Trump has done literally nothing to uplift the nation, so why wouldn’t the arts also be under his attack? What’s left? Begged question, answered—nothing.

We have to step back from the stage and into the wings to examine what really motivates Trump, and it’s not altruism: it’s dripping, angry revenge. Perhaps no group has been more dismissive of the Trump Administration that the arts community. We all know the very short list of Trump entertainment celebrities: Kid Rock, Scott Baio, Jon Voight, Sylvester Stallone, Joe Rogan, Caitlyn Jenner ( talk about self-immolating endorsements), Dr. Phil, Mel Gibson, Kelsey Grammar, Kanye West, Dennis Quaid, and Russell Brand.

That is not an A-List. That is not a B-List. That is a group of people who can’t carry a tune in a bucket at the Kennedy Center, and if assembled in a movie, would not make it to a big screen at your local mall cineplex. These are straight-to-streaming people. Plus, I suspect their dancing skills may rival Trump’s, who looks like a bobblehead trying to grow hips on the fly.

So Trump can stick it to the Kennedy Center because he can’t stick it to Hollywood…yet. I’m sure he’s working on it. Trump, you see, fundamentally isn’t a real estate developer. The only thing he’s really good at is looking at swatches, and maybe buying air conditioning units in bulk. He’s a teardown otherwise.

Trump is a bad ham actor. He knows it—and he doesn’t even bother to memorize his lines like Ronald Reagan did.

Now that Trump has installed himself as “chairman” and put overly square-jawed foreign policy protofascist and didn’t-get-Secretary-of-State-loser Ric Grenell in as interim Executive Director, God knows what the shows will look like.

Honestly, I’d love to see a drag show.

You know, Rudy Giuliani could star in it with Trump.

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Hey, YB! People: Time to disconnect to properly celebrate Presidents Day by not thinking about the president. John F. Kennedy would have approved. Have a great evening. —J.